LJ Idol Survivor Redemption

[bittyjane]

Since I saw Gary's e-mail on Friday, I've had a bit of back and forth with myself.  I wasn't super happy with the way I left the game, and so part of me is feeling a little bitter and isn't ready for the opportunity to come back.  I thought it would be a few more weeks.

Come on!  You enjoyed being part of a tribe.
Part of a tribe that voted me out?  I'll probably get voted out first week back anyway.
Maybe, but you won't know if you don't even try.

I don't need to be part of a competition to write.
Oh yeah? And what have you written since?
Well . . . I've been reading.  And building my crafting cabinet.  I can always homegame.
Yeah?  Like you have been?
Shut up.

We just re-opened the restaurant.  And it makes me tired.  It's just take out.  And take out sucks.
You suck.  Stop being a little bitch.
Dang, self.  Take it down a notch.
Sorry.  But you'll regret it if you don't even try.
*sighs* Probably.

Comments

[gunwithoutmusic]

Oh, this hits close to home. Not being part of Luzon when you were voted out originally, I'm not completely up on what all happened, but I did think that you got the shaft a little bit that week - it was definitely a tough one all-around that round, it seems. So I'm happy to see you back in it and giving it a shot, even if there's still a bad taste in your mouth.

But that third paragraph, that's what hit me so hard. I know that feeling all too well of, "I don't need a competition to write," but then... what do I write outside of the competition? When do I allow myself to have that time without prompts and deadlines to meet? And the realistic answer is, I don't. If it's not something that I feel I have to do for some reason, then it gets put on the backburner. And it shouldn't be that way. We all need our creative outlets. But it's so easy to say that other things are more important and... when the only person we have to let down is ourselves, it's very easy to just let that happen too.

I'm glad you did this and I'm glad you put your hat in the ring to come back in. Best of luck in the polls!

[bittyjane]

Thanks! I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who struggles with writing outside of a competition. I read somewhere that writers make time to write and that rung so true with me. I still struggle making the time though.